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My Ever Evolving Life Story By: Beth Anne Salisbury

A Note to the Reader:

This is a condensed summary of my life. It is exactly what it means,
if you don't like what I have to say, as the owner of this work, simply put
I am what I am. Which is me being very open and sometimes
Flat out rude, as I am concluding my introduction by saying........

If You Can't Take the Attitude

with the Woman

Don't Bother with me at all!



I miss life when things were simple, yet when I think about it....
LIFE WAS NEVER SIMPLE FOR ME!!! EVER!


Ugh. As a child I had to grow up with mom being so weird. I didn't know
(To be honest) where her mind was. Mom was always quiet and basically
Kept to herself. Yet around me she could be who she really WAS! Yet she
Wasn't afraid in some ways (or still is in a sense) to be what she was, with me that is. But that was a walking contradiction, because my mother should
(even though she's my mother), that in a sense she needs to be just that,
my mother. She then, during my teens (big issue, that I'll discuss later)
and even now when I am an adult always tried to establish a relationship that was more like a friendship. But in my own opinion I needed a mother who saw me as not just her responsibility ,but to see me as a child with my own needs (home cooked food, I had to eat prepackaged, microwave able, canned, or otherwise pre-made food) pretty sad and in a way sick.


I saw myself, (even when I was a child and knowing even before I was brought into this amazingly difficult yet amazing world that my mother (in quiet, but saw through hurt and anger) see that my mother did all that she could to prepare for me. Through this I see, she should have laid the foundation of her life before even getting herself into a issue, I don't think she was ready to handle. That issue is her marrying my father and through their struggles, I was born. In a sense, our family struggled to beat the odds, but out of all that she says or even does, she doesn't always live up to it. She tends to be a walking, talking contradiction in almost every single way! That in it gave me a lot of issues, from even before my birth to even now when I am 21!

And I am sure I will deal with my past, for my ENTIRE life!

As I recall and in some ways reminisce, I will always be confronted with my hectic life, but now that I think about it there were a lot of problems

BEFORE I WAS EVEN BORN!

My mother had gotten married to my father around 1984. But my father when they got married my mother was about 37 (or so) and he was 63 or 64.Since he was so old I guess my mom was ignorant enough to believe that he was impotent or pretty close to it. So then my mom got married to my dad in the Los Angeles Temple. After about half a year or an entire year I am not sure, lo and behold! My mother indeed got pregnant!

This is my riff. The problem is that over time something bad occurred, she ended up with a tubule pregnancy. So there is a good chance that both lives (my mother and the child) could have easily had their health and lives in turmoil! My mother survived but, it was never determined if it was even the fetus (or whatever) was far along enough to be considered even alive, I guess.

Well approximately during the same period, my father had a stroke. He was barely married to my mom for a few months, so when my mom was having the ordeal with the tubule pregnancy in the hospital no less, my dad was in his hospital stable,but messed up.

So while one was in one hospital the other was in another. Considering my father's age, he could have easily died or become unable to do necessary tasks to provide for his new wife (my mother), no less himself. Luckily he not only survived, considering his health his upbringing, generation and always his age, helped him survive.

I also truly believe the majority of his survival is due to

God giving him a chance at life.

Soon after the tubule pregnancy and his stroke,my mother became pregnant! This time it was me as a baby waiting for my world.

I am sure they were both thinking,

HERE WE GO AGAIN!


One thing that I recall in mind is what my mother said to me when I was young. Still understanding my mother's great love for me and all that she has done for me and all that. She said to me

"I NEVER expected to have a child!"

Whatever she meant by that, as a child hearing that she might as well have slapped me across the face and say "I didn't want you!" Maybe she secretly wanted an abortion, honestly I don't know, yet I secretly want to just come out and scream and say,

What the FUCK did YOU do marrying an older man and getting pregnant?

Were you desperate, depressed or what?!?

In my opinion she should have waited until she was sure this is what she wanted and for this reason I will learn from my mother's mistakes. She should have said instead said I never expected to have a child, but say something like

"I never in my whole life have I believed I would have opportunity to bring a life into the world, no less know how to handle it.



This "Soap Opera", in other words, my life was and in some ways still
a unexplainably hard, yet fulfilling journey. If I find a way to, in turn,
live and let live, for no other but me, I know I will find my small, yet stable niche in life. I will do my part to understand myself , not through other people's perspectives, opinions, or even beliefs. This way I don't circle MY life around those who want perhaps the best for me or not, but through my own self discovery see what I am about through my own life story.

This is what my Life Story is really about:

Who I Am, What My Purpose Is, and Finally Where I Am Now!!!

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